Ageless Grace

Last weekend I attended a symposium called “Ageless Grace: Women in Leadership in the Church and in the World” at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University. There were two main presenters with two responders on stage, and then a period of questions and answers after each. The first presenter was Melanne Verveer, U.S. Ambassador at Large for Global Women’s Issues. The second was M. Cathleen Kaveny, Professor of Law and Theology at Notre Dame University. It reminded me of all the things I loved about my education at a Jesuit university. For Quakers and for Roman Catholics, on our best days, we share a fearless approach to knowledge as a reflection of God in the world.

What follows is not a description of what the speakers said. This blogpost began as I was asked to share my reflections and reactions at the end of the day, but then the event ran over time, for the best of reasons, and I didn’t get to speak, so I’ve tried to arrange my notes into something slightly more coherent. I may still edit this further for a longer article. As a Quaker, an alumna and a woman in church leadership, I was grateful for the opportunity to reflect on my practice with other women theologians.

Some of what I treasure most about Quaker tradition are the examples of my foremothers. Women who preached the Gospel and traveled far and hard in response to God’s leading.

Women many people have heard of, like Lucretia Coffin Mott and Elizabeth Fry. And like Mary Dyer, who was hanged on Boston Common for daring to preach her Quaker heresy in Massachusetts Bay Colony. Or Margaret Fell, the nursing mother of Quakerism, who wrote a tract in 1667 called “Women Speaking: Justified, Proved and Allowed of by the Scriptures, All such as speak by the Spirit and Power of the Lord Jesus and how Women were the first that Preached the Tidings of the Resurrection of Jesus and were sent by Christ’s own Command, before he ascended to the Father, John 20:17.” For more examples, I recommend the book, Daughters of the Light by Rebecca Larson.

These examples are a gift of Quaker history. It’s not that the Religious Society of Friends is or ever has been free of sexism but no one can point to our tradition and say that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Inspiring examples of Quaker women are not all long ago and far away. It’s not only the province of extraordinary individuals whose example we could never live up to. They include women who are teaching alternatives to violence right now. Women who are pastoring and preparing to preach, right now.

Inspiring examples also include the women who spoke that afternoon. Women who are letting their lives preach as well as their words. Women who are advocating for truth and justice in their church and in the world.

Women my age and younger have so many examples before us. It’s getting a lot harder to be the first woman to do anything. On the other hand, we won’t have to be the first to do everything.

One benefit of the breadth and length of history is seeing multiple examples of how to be a woman in leadership in the church and the world. For me, it is deeply important that I can be a mother and a minister. But not everyone has to do it my way. God calls each of us by name, not by category.

Another gift of Quaker theology is our understanding of the role of the Holy Spirit - how God is speaking to all of us all the time. Our job is to listen, to try to understand with all our faculties, and to obey God’s leading. But fear gets in the way. I think fear is the single greatest obstacle to hearing and obeying when God calls us to change our minds, our practices, our society, our church institutions.

God’s guidance is more like a sacred compass than a GPS. Jesus gives us a steady point to steer by and gauge our progress, not step by step directions to our destination. (Thank you, Brent Bill, for the metaphor.) Two clichés that come to mind as appropriate for this discussion are “the bigger the ship, the longer it takes to turn it around” and “it’s always darkest before the dawn.”

I did get to have my little input after all. The last question that was read was mine. I asked, “Do you think that all the chaotic, painful events in the relationship of church and society these days are the death knell of religion or the birth pangs of a new role for the church/faith community in the world?”

And here’s my answer: Of course it’s both. A lot of old structures are dying, and some of them are thrashing around and shouting loudly on their way out. But because human beings have an innate capacity for and need for spirituality, new ways of being religious are being born. Those structures that “encourage flourishing,” as Cathleen Kaveny put it, will survive.

I pray for the strength and grace to follow God and lead Friends into ways that encourage flourishing.

Vision

Without vision, the people perish. Mostly because they get eaten by tigers they didn't see coming.
Isn't that a joke from Calvin & Hobbes?

I've been thinking a lot about vision lately. Mostly because I just got glasses. I have developed astigmatism and nearsightedness in my mid-forties. I was prepared at this point in life to go to the drugstore and get a pair of reading glasses. Instead I need prescription corrective lenses to be able to read the clock from across my kitchen.

So I've spent a lot of the last two months taking them off and putting them on again, testing my vision. Looking at things under and over and around my glasses, as I become aware of what they do better and where they don't work in my range of vision. Pretty soon I'm going to need bifocals to be able to adjust, because now that the astigmatism is fixed, I'm noticing that I do have to hold my paper at arm's length to be able to see what I'm writing more clearly. The doctor warned me that as my eyes stop straining so hard to focus all the time it would seem like my vision was getting worse. Really, it's just that my eyes aren't trying as hard to make up for their defects. So I don't see as well but I'm not making my brain as tired as it would have been either. And these days, my brain is getting plenty tired working on the other kind of vision anyway.

Part of my job as the new Executive Secretary of the Friends World Committee for Consultation - Section of the Americas is to articulate a new and compelling vision of the purpose and function of FWCC. One of the first set of tasks was to establish more clarity around our financial situation. Another set of tasks is preparing for the World Conference, including envisioning what will come out of the 6WC and how can we at FWCC be supportive of the movement of the Holy Spirit among Friends in the coming year?

I'm reminded of the place in Paul's letter to the Corinthians where he says, now we see as in a mirror, dimly, but then [in God's kingdom] we will see clearly. And if you think about the quality of mirrors in Paul's day, which were just polished metal, you'll better understand how dim he thinks we are.

Some days, I too feel like I'm surrounded by fog and molasses. Can't see far, can't move fast. John Woolman has a story about being in a swamp and having to stand still until he can find the next stepping stone. I know that feeling.

But it's not always like that. Sometimes, I have flashes of clarity and insight and farsightedness and I know where I'm going and how to get there. Those are the stepping stones I cling to and my sense of God's guidance is palpable. I believe God sends the vision, and it's my job to use my practical gifts (like math and planning and listening skills) to move along the path.

I'm realizing that when I see clearly, in a prophetic sense, not just with my glasses on, I am already in the Kingdom. It's not just for after we die. The Kingdom is among us. Some people see more clearly, more often, already. All of us see that clearly sometimes. Quakers everywhere need to pay attention to those moments of clear seeing and use them to inform our plain speaking.

I'm working on paying more attention when I'm seeing clearly and then being more bold in speaking my truth, in claiming the force of my vision, in inviting people to see things my way. The head of another Quaker organization put it this way: when you are the executive director, you have been given the opportunity to see things from a different perspective, in all directions.  The key is learning how to communicate to others how, if they were in your seat, they'd see these things and that would help them understand why you're suggesting this action.

I'm still learning how to balance my vision with committee process. That's probably a lifetime's work, and I won't pretend that I've got it right yet. But I also worry whether Quakers are ready for leaders with vision. Will we continue to cut them down, like Tall Poppies? Is there room for someone like me to make mistakes without failing completely?

I would love to hear a) any stories of Quaker leaders & committees/organizations that have functioned well together past or present or b) advice on how you or someone you know have successfully navigated this pathway and what tools (spiritual or practical) you think are useful.

Because the world is hungry for what Friends have to offer. All the Friends, together. At our best, we live and work out of a dynamic tension, a paradox of faith and practice, of contemplation and action, of usefulness today and for the future, and I want to be part of bringing that forth, being the best we can be and giving the world what it needs. That is what FWCC is for. I am honored to be part of it. It needs the best I can give it. I need all the help I can get.

[In the comments, I don't really want to hear all the stories of how badly leaders have been treated in the past or currently, thank you very much. I know enough of those already. I will delete whiny comments, at my sole discretion and with no apologies.]

Wisdom for 2012

Since the mid 90's I’ve tried to choose one word for the year: whatever virtue or practice I felt I needed to work on. One year it was “patience;” one year it was "breathe," another year it was “balance.” Some years I even had a whole set of resolutions: 2009 2008

Then I discovered the Chris Brogan Three Words of the Year meme:  In 2010 my three words were Faith, Farm, and Finish.

But 2011 was so chaotic there was no way to have a clear intention for the year. It was all I could do not to drown in the waves of change. At the beginning of the year, I didn’t know what I wanted to be true at the end of the year. At the end, the waves of change continue to roll in, but now I feel like I’m better able to keep my head above water as they come.

For 2012, I have chosen four words. Wisdom, serenity, courage, discipline. In that order. And the most important is discipline.

I think I always need to pray for wisdom. To see the truth, to know the right thing to do. That takes all the help I can get.

Second is to accept and let go of the things that are not in my bailiwick, not in my job description, not in my sphere of influence. To not spend time fretting over the things I can not change, at least not right now.

Third is to be bold. To claim my path and strike out for the change I want to see in the world. To have faith that help will come.

But fourth is discipline. To follow through, even when it's boring. To act when I know the right thing to do, even when it's scary. Which is a lot of the time in my life. I am grateful to know I am not the first to not do the thing I most want to, or to do that which I do not want. From Paul of Tarsus to Howard Thurman, I am in good company.Or bad company, as the case may be. But I can do better than I have done. I can set up the structures that help me practice. And this is one of those practices that never ends, like physical exercise.

Here's to a faithful 2012!

Is It Dangerous to Let Teenagers Read Thomas Kelly?

On Sunday, there wasn’t a First Day School program at our Quaker meeting, so our boys were going to be with us all through meeting for worship. I pulled out the two little books that were in my purse and offered them to my 13 year old son: a very small print King James Bible or Thomas Kelly’s The Eternal Promise. He chose TEP and proceeded to actually read it. At that point it occurred to me to worry, “Am I going to regret this?”

Have you read any Thomas Kelly? (1893-1941) His more famous book is A Testament of Devotion. He writes about Quakerism and the religious life as if he was serious about it. Back in the late 1930’s he had some kind of mystical experience after a professional heartbreak in the middle of his career. Then he wrote several classic essays on religious experience: “The Blessed Community,” “The Gathered Meeting,” “The Simplification of Life,” “Have You Ever Seen A Miracle?”, and “Holy Obedience.”

"I have in mind something deeper than the simplification of our external programs, our absurdly crowded calendars of appointments through which so many pantingly and frantically gasp. These do become simplified in holy obedience, and the poise and peace we have been missing can really be found. But there is a deeper, an internal simplification of the whole of one's personality, stilled, tranquil, in childlike trust listening ever to Eternity's whisper, walking with a smile into the dark."

His lines about a life lived in accordance with a divine center, that takes no time, but yet all our time, are quoted in many Quaker books of Faith & Practice. If you are even a little bit religious, it is wildly inspiring to read Thomas Kelly’s words about the need and desire to give ourselves fully to God, to live a life of uncompromising devotion.

But teenagers don’t have enough knowledge or experience of life to know that Kelly can’t possibly mean it, that nobody really lives like that, that his kind of passion is excessive.

That made me ask myself how much I have let myself think that the world doesn’t really work that way, that nobody really lives like that, that he can’t really mean it.

And then I wondered how much trouble would I be in? How would I be held accountable for the life that I do lead if the young people in my life caught on to that thrilling vision?

Maybe we should encourage more young people to read Thomas Kelly.

A new pie crust recipe, easier than the first

This last August was the sixth anniversary of this blog. That milestone went by in a haze of work and travel.

My baking has also suffered somewhat with the new job, but not completely. I still like to bake when I'm stressed, and I've had lots of opportunities in the last year. But I'm more back to basics now, fewer ingredients, fewer steps whenever I can. God bless Betty Crocker.

However, my most frequently used pie crust is still a variation on Marilyn M. Moore's Foolproof Pie Dough from The Wooden Spoon Dessert Cookbook. And I'm teaching my older son how to make pie so he can keep it up when I'm really too busy.

My most frequently used pie crust (for a two crust pie):

Pour a tall glass of water, add one or two ice cubes, don't drink out of it yet.

Mix 1/2 teaspoon salt with 2 cups unbleached all purpose flour.
Cut 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter into small cubes, then add to the flour and cut with pastry blender or two knives until the largest lumps are half the size of peas.

Add 5-6 tablespoons water from the glass, 1 tablespoon at a time, stirring with a fork after each addition, a little longer than you think you should have to. After the last addition, keep stirring until it all comes together into a dough. It always seems like forever, but it will come together.

Mold the dough quickly into a ball with your hands. Place it on a floured cutting board (or wherever you're going to roll it out later) and cut it in half. Mold each half into a ball, then press each half flat in the middle, keeping the edges round with your floured hands. It will look like a cheese wheel, or a car's tire.

Wrap each half separately in plastic or waxed paper and refrigerate while you make the filling. You can even make the crust ahead and keep it in the refrigerator for up to two days.

Now drink the rest of the water before you make the filling. You'll feel better. I always do.

If you want to get a little fancier, here is my old-fashioned pie crust recipe. You can also look through the archives under pie for more recipes for pie fillings, and a few other things.

O come Emmanuel

O come, O come, Emmanuel!
And ransom captive Israel...

This morning in meeting for worship I was thinking about this hymn.

Partly I was wishing that my new meeting had hymnals handy in the benches. I have got to learn the rest of this song by heart this year.

But mostly  I was pondering how fully I am captive to the ways of the world.

In my work.
In my family life.
In my finances.
In my approach to holidays.

I pray that the power of God will liberate me, but I know that it will be in God's time, not my time; with God's strength, not my strength.



A few years ago (I can't believe it's been 4 years already!) I wrote another post about this same hymn (with all the lyrics handy): Skills You Can't Put on Your Resume

So what do you actually do?

New acquaintance: So what do you actually do in your job?
Me: That's a good question. 

It's funny. I think it's a good sign that I've gotten better at explaining who/what FWCC is without overloading people so that they're not afraid to ask another question. The first question is usually more like this:

New acquaintance: What is the, um, Friends World Committee for Consultation-Section of the Americas?
Me: We are the association of Quaker meetings and churches from Alaska to Bolivia. 

That's my soundbite version. I can say it all in one breath and people understand all the words, even if they don't know anything else about Quakers or what that involves.

Lately, I am inspired by the name of one of our projects that I think encapsulates what we do. Our new website with information about the various branches of Friends and short writings by Quakers on a variety of topics is called Voices of Friends. From my perspective, FWCC is all about helping Friends to listen to one another's voices, helping the outside world to hear the voices of Friends, and helping each of us to hear the voice of God in our own hearts and in the words and actions of other people (and the rest of God's creation). I want to use this imagery more in describing our work.

I'm curious whether this makes sense to other Friends, and whether this connects to what you thought FWCC was/is or not?

So what do I actually do there? My new short answer is that my job is part minister and part manager. A lot of religious education, a little pastoral counseling, some office management, the fundraising and accounting to sustain it all, some P.R. work and some institutional politics, and mostly volunteer organizing (in more religious terms, I call this helping to connect people with their own ministries).

I am considering Brent Bill's suggestion of using released minister as a descriptive title. He was suggesting it for the paid pastoral staff of a local Quaker congregation. Wess Daniels wrote about his adoption of the term in that context. I wonder if it's just as useful in my situation as well. I'm not actually suggesting that we change the title on my business card, which is Executive Secretary, and generally makes people think I'm the admin assistant to the CEO. That would require a different process that I don't have time for right now.

I'm more considering how it feels like I have been released to do the work I really want to do, and that my work is to minister to the whole Religious Society of Friends. The job description isn't very well defined, but essentially I am paid enough to concentrate on the RSoF at the international, inter-branch level, which is always, of course, also at the inter-personal level.  (For anyone who cares, I'm not actually paid enough to support a family without my spouse also working, but it's about average for a non-profit organization with our budget size.)

Part of the reason that the job is hard to define, as any minister or pastor or executive director knows, is that the work shifts and flows over time and space and needs and opportunities and expands to fill all the time and energy you can give it, plus some. The real reason I do it isn't the money, it's the joy and love and excitement I feel at being part of the infrastructure of the RSoF, part of holding it all together and equipping other people to be the Quakers we need in today's world. I would do this work for free, except that if I wasn't getting paid to do this, I'd have to find another job to support my family and then I wouldn't have time to do this work. (See half my blogposts from the last three years if you want to know how well that went. Especially here and here.)

So I am very grateful to have this opportunity to focus on this work. And to do it from a vantage point with systems already in place to implement the work that needs to be done. We don't need more organizations. We need the ones we have to do the work that God is calling us to do, even if that includes a faithful betrayal of the people who came before us.

In the Christian tradition, we are supposedly all released to follow this calling. I think this is part of salvation and being born again. At this point, I'm hearing Bob Dylan in my head, are you? Any day now...

More soon about balancing motherhood and ministry. But that's another blogpost.